Hey Dad - BACK UP a little!

[jon8j]

I'm venting this morning.  Thought I'd toss this out for discussion.  Feel free to let me know if you think I'm wrong, nuts, stupid etc.

If you Dad / owner / crew chiefs choose to put your small child in an adult racing class (Semi Pro) then expect him or her to be treated like an adult.  When conflict happens, as it inevitably will, it's best handled by THE DRIVERS involved.  Your input is not required!  Emotions are heated and strong words will be used.  I'm sorry.  Get over it.  Physical altercations are fairly rare in Legends and are not to be condoned or tolerated.  Drivers usually yell and wave their hands and it's forgotten in a few minutes.  But, DAD, when you jump to defend your "next little Jeff Gordon" by joining in the shouting and waving - YOU are escalating the conflict! 

Strictly my opinion: Dad - you need to maintain a respectful and careful distance (just in case someone gets stupid) and allow the drivers to work out their issue.  Often later you can analyze and advise on how to avoid that particular incident happening again.

[VMS Motorsports]

As Johnny 5 once said..."Need more input".  As a dad (who's son will never drive a racecar-his choice, not mine) I will look at it both ways. Dad: Some jack-ass is yelling and screaming at my kid, Im damn well gonna be there next to him, but Im more of a grab the kid by the suit and walk him away kind of personality. As a driver, realize its a spoiled kid/daddys meal ticket and dont go screaming at him cuz you know his dads gonna get involved. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! As we all know, were all the same size when you're on the track.

[justfreaky]

Jim, although he watches entirely too much "Short Circuit" 
, brings up good points. DAD wants to come to the aide of his son. It's a protective instinct we Dads (and MOMS) seem to aquire.
You need to talk to DAD once you've calmed down some. Explain to him why you need to handle the conflict between yourself and the other driver. Hopefully, he will understand your needs; And Hopefully, you will understand his need to defend. Maybe you can both come to some middle ground on the issue.

Because emotions tend to run high, the walk away approach is usually best. Gains you time to really think about the issue. Then you can go speak (Not yell) to DAD and the other driver if you still feel it is worth the fight.

Hope some of that helps.

Steve

[VMS Motorsports]

I am so excited that someone got the Johnny 5 reference! After I posted I re-thought and figured people would think I ate too many Cadbury eggs yesterday and was off in sugar-high la-la land! 

[RickyBobby]

wow, johny 5.  I remember that one from a few years back :-).  That new kid movie that is coming out I was saying is a rip off of Johnny 5.  The robot looks the same as he did.

[justfreaky]

You probably did eat too many Cadbury eggs yesterday  
"Short Circuit" movies ........... Just good ol' fasion entertainment!

But you are right........ More input on the situation is needed.
I understand both sides (as such). As a driver, I want to make my point.
As a DAD, I want to protect and defend my son or daughter.
Walking away, usually gives one time to think the situation through clearly.


My Dear Abby for the day  


Steve

[justfreaky]

OK RB;
Stay away from the candy, and back away from the big screen................
VERY SLOWLY! 

All kidding aside;
Drivers tempermant, and how to best deal with a situation when emotions run high, is the issue at hand.

Steve

[JGRacing]

Have not had to deal with an angry parent yet (my son is 2 and can only cause limited chaos at this point), but if he was a little older and someone got in his face yelling and it looked like things were out of hand I would step in to protect him  every time.  If the parent is reasonable enough,  you could talk to them and then you can both tell the kid what you think  about what he/she did on the track.  Sort of like the teacher calling your parents to come in for a meeting so they can all tell you how you screwed up.   If the parent is not reasonable, then the kid will probaly be a monster regardless of whether they get yelled at.  The little monsters tend to be moved up a class the next year anyway so they can tear up more expensive equipment in the quest to be the next Jeff Gordon.   

[rob]

Being a Dad/Crew chief bottle washer etc!!!

this is my take, we have been at this a few years with him running with drivers twice is age.
He has been taught to come to the pit after a race and if he has a problem to cool off and think.
Now if some hot headed driver comes to our pit screaming , of course he is going to deal with me first. But knock wood we have never had a problem.

Rob
www.teamjnr.com

[jon8j]

Cool.  I love the discussion.  When my kid was little my approach was, as I said, stay close enough to be safe but let him handle the results of his on-track decisions.  Yes there were a number of instances where he got blasted by someone for overly aggressive or stupid moves.  Now that he's 17 and significantly bigger than me, protection is no longer such an issue (but I still watch his back.)   I understand that Dad was nervous about an obviously P/O'd guy getting in the window of his little kid's car to express his displeasure.  On the other hand - if Dad can't handle this side of the deal, then Junior needs to stay in Bandits!  I really hated it when INEX did away with the Young Guns class. 
Incidentally, I  asked last night - he says he definitely did not threaten Junior. 

[VMS Motorsports]

Well, now that I have a little more information, if I got this story right... my kids strapped into his car, and you or your kid, or anyone comes over and sticks his head in there screaming, I'd have you flat on your back so  fast you wouldnt know what hit you. I dont care if your boy is bigger than you, control him.  This aint Nascar, Mr Stewart, we're here for fun, sounds like you guys were in the wrong...sorry, just my .02

[justfreaky]

That is exactly why there needs to be a cooling off period.
Sticking ones head into someone elses car can be seen as an act of aggression.

Steve

[jon8j]

"I'd have you flat on your back so  fast you wouldnt know what hit you." 
That's an understandable response.  I don't agree with it, but I understand your need to defend.  Hopefully you understand that you validate my point.  You just escalated a discussion (albeit a heated one) to  physical violence.  You get escorted out with your hands behind your back.  We don't neet that.
If  your son can't handle a high and tight fastball, or if you can't stand to watch it, then he shouldn't be in the big leagues.  If he's not able to stand his ground in an highly charged "discussion" with an adult - without your intervention - then he's not old enough to be in a race against adults.

Notice that I said "race against" not "race with".  Racing is battle, complete with physical, mental and emotional challenges.  We come to the track with the intention to win every race - not to have fun.  Winning is fun, everything else stinks.  The only thing that comes close to winning is starting last and almost winning.  It still stinks to be a loser, but at least you know you had the fastest car!

Finally, if you don't want Mr. Stewart's aggression then you can't have Mr. Stewart's fence climbing celebration with the fans.  Or do you prefer NASCAR's corporate approved / novacaine numbed drivers?  Harvick may not win the most races, but I'd pay extra to see him go across Biffle's trunk again.

[VMS Motorsports]

I dont know if I would call it a "discussion" when you come storming my pit, and have your head in my window before I can even get out of my car. You are the agressor , not I. If you want him to be able to "stand his ground in a highly charged discussion" let him get out of the damn car!  That happens at our track and I betcha theres 5 drivers grabbing your boy and moving him out of the area to avoid any further conflict.

Now your statement of " Racing is battle, complete with physical, mental and emotional challenges.  We come to the track with the intention to win every race - not to have fun.  Winning is fun, everything else stinks.  The only thing that comes close to winning is starting last and almost winning.  It still stinks to be a loser, but at least you know you had the fastest car!"  shows your personality as being more aggressive, and theres nothing wrong with that, but I personally have alot more important things in my life than winning $250 bucks on Saturday night. Sounds like you and the other dad have alot more in common than you think.

No disrespect meant, and hopefully none taken, but Im just looking for something fun to do on Saturday night with my family and friends, If I wanted all the bullsh!t, Id be in a latemodel.

[RickyBobby]

I have to disagree on one point.  Just being able to get in a race a car is fun.  We have a problem here with Hockey Dad's being the same way and saying their kid has to go pro or they have to win.  Sorry but winning is not the only source of fun.  Those who think so are usually the ones cuasing problems.  Legends racing is fun and in our series almost everyone gets along so well and will help out with each others car.